ALUMRISE

I was asked recently by a local Dallas Moms Web site, started by a former coworker and Mompreneur, to share some tips on the challenge of finding a new opportunity or returning to work after a hiatus. Really got me thinking. Here’s what I had to say to the members of Moms Out Loud:

You’ve probably read or heard advice about returning to work, including resume tips, dress tips and interviewing guidelines. As someone who left the traditional workforce to raise a child and pursue a personal dream of creating a business for others like me, ALUMRISE — I found that much of the advice, while practical and helpful, didn’t completely meet the mark.

The advice often assumed certain things about me and others like me:

We are completely confident about our decision to return to the workforce. Now we just need to find a ‘job’

The portrait of the mother I often speak to via my role at ALUMRISE needs to find meaningful work to fit her life stage, but is continually re-evaluating. Some days, she’s ready to conquer the world. Others, she’s dealing with a sick child and an upside down house, and a job hunt is the furthest item from her mind. The concept of a ‘job’ is a difficult one for many moms. They are looking for meaningful work and residual income. But traditional jobs can often be a square peg in a round hole for the at-home mother.

My Tips:

• Turn this potential drawback of daily indecision or re-evaluation into an opportunity. Find job sites or solutions that showcase a variety of both permanent and flexible opportunities and ad-hoc opportunities like completing tasks or doing short term projects
• Don’t wait for the perfect “job” – seek opportunities that fit your day, week, or month. And do it now! Often, these can turn into the perfect long term position
• If you find you struggle with balance, look for flexible positions, even if you trade off some pay or promotion opportunity
• And do look at the type of work that suits your new situation – for example, working with a start up, or a small business, or in retail. A traditional corporate position could be financially rewarding but create personal stress in scheduling and workload, so be honest with your own limitations before starting a search

We are self confident and able to articulate our skills. We are thick skinned at parties and in social gatherings when eyes glaze over as we describe our former work and current job needs

What I’ve observed is that even the most self-confident mothers experience mood swings, self-recrimination and doubt, when they consider a return to the workforce. They react to the lack of interest or reinforcement and support from others, and take it to heart. Many retract and decide “work is not for them,” even though they are smart, intelligent, and strong contributors. It’s a self defense mechanism. So even while paying lip service to a job hunt, such a mother may be damaging her own chances by giving mixed messages about the consistency and belief in her own abilities to succeed in a job or a part time position.

My tips:

• Find someone who is a personal fan and supports your intelligence and desire to find meaningful work. Look to them for advice and counsel. Don’t expect support from those who don’t know you and your strong experiences and ability to contribute
• Keep your hunt targeted and close and do use online vehicles that can help promote you beyond your own social circle — members of your own circle may subconsciously only see you via the lens of mother or wife or daughter in law. Use sites especially those created for informal workforce members, like a Moms group, a flexible gigs site or a site like ALUMRISE designed for the non traditional workforce
• It’s not easy to banish self-doubt but the greatest danger is to let good opportunities pass you by, by talking down your abilities or abilities when you do find someone interested in working with you. Be specific and factual about your goals, and ability to contribute. Don’t be apologetic!

We have a life plan and are working on it. Motherhood is a detour or hiatus but not the final goal

Most mothers drastically alter their perception of parenting, only after they have a first child. For some, it happens with a second. Suddenly, parenting as a “detour” from real life, is replaced by a growing realization that parenting is as much the business of life, as a paid position. Employers may find it hard to hear this message – and many moms are stuck trying to deliver a message that they need a firm balance between parental responsibilities and paid employment.

My tips:

• Talk about the positives of parenthood as qualities for an employer. These are qualities such as your perseverance, your patience, your ability to work hard, and your ability to juggle tasks on a minute-by-minute basis
• Talk about your own desire for a flexible position and be willing to discuss how that could benefit an employer, for example in a pay trade-off
• Be honest about the role of parenting in your life. You may be surprised that your candor impresses an employer. After all, they may be juggling the same issues as you. Honesty is an important way to establish the right rules of engagement, increasing chances of success for both sides

Starting or completing a job hunt is hard, especially when you are torn between competing priorities. But if you start by addressing some upfront, personal barriers, the battle can be won.

Happy hunting Moms!

Aassia Haq is a midcareer mom who left the traditional workforce to start ALUMRISE. She currently serves as CEO of the business. The photo was taken in her garden, in between a business meeting and an infant meltdown. Unfortunately, she hasn’t had time to take a better photo yet.